The Next Day......How I feel being a Black woman the day after history was made!

           (Artist: unknown)
                                                   

I'm baaaaack!!!!

It's been awhile since my last post, I know! I took time away from this blog for many reasons. From the slayings of black bodies (on national t.v. repeatedly); to managing my personal life, it all really had me down. I have done a lot of self-reflection. I  have prioritized my mental health (this was a big one), and I'm committed to doing the necessary work to become the best version of myself ; which in turn makes me a better person in every other aspect of my life. 

The date of this blog post is not by happenstance ; I mean look at the title. Yesterday, regardless of how you voted, we have once again bared witness to history; to HERstory. This election resulted in the most amount of votes casted ever in any election. That is huge; monumental! Add to that the first Black woman VP; excuse me, Madam Vice President. As a Black woman I can't fully put into words how I feel, but I would like to think it's something similar to how my father felt the 1st time Barack Obama was elected President of the United States. My father was a 6ft 4, 300 lb Black man who showed very little emotion. I can count on one hand how many times I saw my father cry, and watching Barack Obama's acceptance speech was one of them. My father started to cry; I mean boo-hoo cry, and while I had no idea how my dad felt as a Black man in that moment (as I am not one, nor can I fully understand the struggles that Black men endure in America), I knew that those tears held a lot of pain, joy, and a sense of hope for Black people; Black men. I will say that my joy this time around is more realistic. What  I mean by that is, I don't feel as though there is a blindfold or veil in front of my eyes shielding me from the realities of America. That is in large part due to me being older and having experienced a lot more on a personal level, but also being too aware of the injustices that reign here in America every damn day.

Today I feel an overwhelming sense of purpose; purpose that I would say isn't newfound but rather reshaped. For months due to COVID and everything else going on in the world, I fell out of love with teaching...well parts of it. I've been going back and fourth trying to figure out how to reshape my purpose for it to fit the woman I am now, rather than the woman that I was when I started this journey in 2010. It's been hard working in a place that I feel echoes the voices & thoughts of America, and that is; that Black women are overlooked. That Black women's voices don't matter. That Black women come last (if at all) but are still expected to save the day, day in and day out. To feel that every day in the world and then again in my career has been extremely trying; extremely stressful; extremely tiring. I am someone who can find the positives in any situation, but these last several months have not been easy. 

On November 8th, 2020 my purpose feels that  much more crucial to the Black and Brown people coming after me; specifically women. It feels that much more crucial to the Black and Brown youth that cross my path. I've always known that everything I do is much bigger and greater than I, and today I  am that much more excited to dedicate the rest of my life to sowing seeds for future generations to come.While this year is far from over, it has revealed so many things. There is a tremendous amount of work that needs to be done within all the systems that have been built to oppress the minority and are still working every day to do just that, but it is work we must do!

To be a Black woman, to be a Black female educator; Here's to us! Here's to our voices being heard in any space that we are present. 

"I'm speaking" - Kamala Harris

WE'RE SPEAKING

Who's ready to get their hands dirty ?

- Ms. Pashea